Empty Nest Syndrome

"I missed them, but of the two of us, I think it was worse for Allie. She may have been a painter, but she was first and foremost a mother, and once the kids were gone, it was like she wasn't exactly who she was anymore. At least for a while, anyway." The Wedding (Nicholas Sparks), p. 59

This week we took the last of our 4 children to boarding school. She is 12, in 8th grade, and has been more than ready to go for over a year. But, oh, it has been soooo hard letting her go. Every now and then I say (only half teasing), "Remember, Susanna, if you want to stay home, just say the word..." and I get the typical adolescent, "Mo-om!" in reply.

So now, all 4 of our children are in Senegal, DD#1 as an English teacher, and the other 3 as students (only DD#2 actually has her big sister for a class, DS will have her next year). They are absolutely thrilled to all be together, as you can imagine (altho they are not living together in one place).

I'm not handling this Empty Nest stuff very well. I've been struggling with this all summer, having bouts of depression and so on. It's not so much losing the kids; it's: what do I do with myself now? The work I did in the local church before I started home schooling is all being done by Malians now -- and that's GOOD, we are supposed to work ourselves out of a job! So now I have to find another niche for myself. It would be nice if there were an office or a school for me to go work in, but it doesn't work that way. There's plenty to be done, but you have to be somewhat of a self-starter -- and I am pretty weak in that area!

I've started making lists of things I can do. But I don't want this to be just 'busy work.' And I don't want to do things which a local person could do, thus depriving them of a job/ministry. I plan to spend more time traveling with Jim on his many bush trips, and he will be glad have to have me with him. I may also have to start studying the Fulani language. I don't expect to become fluent (after 9 years he is not), but people always appreciate that you make the effort and it builds bridges.

On the other hand, having left off the kids... maybe it IS about losing them!

Where I've been...

I was somewhat shocked to see that I have not been to this site for over 3 mos., since April 25 ! I went to the States in May to attend DD#1's grad from college. We are so very proud of her. She graduated summa cum laude in English & Adolescence Education. She's even talking about getting her Ph.D someday. Meanwhile, she is coming to teach HS English at Dakar Academy for the next 2 years. For the next year, at least, all 4 of my children will be in the same place.

On the other hand, this also means DD#3 is leaving us to go to boarding school in 2 weeks, leaving us with an empty nest. I am surprised at how much this is bothering me, as it has been long anticipated. I am consequently going thru some sort of a Mid-life Crisis (as dramatic as that sounds!) and bordering on depression.