Here Today... Gone to Mali: 2008

This is True®

by Randy Cassingham

Comestible
A man stepped into a London, England, bookmaking office, pointed a weapon at a clerk and screamed,”I want the money or I will effing shoot you!” Clerk Peter Humphrey nearly yawned. “He says he has a gun,” he said to a colleague, “but then it might be a banana.” Realizing the plastic-wrapped, yellow weapon wasn’t intimidating his victim, the robber fled. Police caught him nearby, still wearing his mask, and even recovered the banana. Robert Downey, 24, saying he had been “desperate” for drugs since he was addicted to cocaine, pleaded guilty to attempted robbery and possessing an imitation firearm. Since he had already served 5 years for a previous nearly identical offense, this time he got 7 years. (London Guardian) ...Pay attention, kids: this is what happens when you have a monkey on your back.
Available in This is True: Book Collection Vol. 11

Friday, January 18, 2008