I'm on somewhat of an emotional roller-coaster these days, so anything I write should be taken with a grain of salt...
For years I've been trying to figure out why God treats similar people SO differently. Oh, I know he's trying to build different things in our lives.
Take two missionary families, who both go to the USA for Home Ministry at the same time, and both need to raise funds for a new vehicle. At the end of the year, one returns (ours) and is able to buy an old used Land Rover in constant need of repairs. The second family returns with enuf money to buy a brand new air-conditioned Land Cruiser. (That was over 15 years ago; we have had 3 more used vehicles in that time, and the Land Cruiser is still on the road).
Then there's the fact that we prayed faithfully for a teacher to come help home school our children so I could continue in ministry. In 17 years of home schooling, we never once found anyone, but fellow miss'ys in the same town had (and have) teachers year after year.
Some extenuating circumstances:
The second family in the car situation belongs to a home church which provides almost 100% of their member miss'ys' support, as well as many of their project expenses.
Some of the families who got teachers belong to a mission which pools all support so their teachers did not have to wait until they had raised all their support before they could come. Another family belongs to a well-known agency with thousands of members, and therefore abundant human resources.
Okay, but does God need me to make excuses for him by stating these extenuating circumstances? He would be a pitiful God indeed if he is able to abundantly supply the needs only of those who belong to rich churches or big mission agencies.
So why, all other things being seemingly equal, did he not do for us as he did for those others? Enquiring minds want to know!!!
Since I am feeling less emotional than when I began this entry several hours ago, here are some (slightly) objective observations:
-We certainly learned to trust in the Lord, not in vehicles! I remember a one-year period when I should have been stranded at least 3 times, but He miraculously intervened and I was rescued. (Still, He would have less work to do if He just gave us a good car).
-For the past few years, I didn't pray or recruit all that diligently for a teacher (but that was partly b/c I stopped believing God would answer -- not that He could not answer b/c he was certainly doing so for others, but for some reason in our case He would not).
-I am grateful for having home schooled my kids. Even tho I did so out of necessity, not conviction, I came to consider it a privilege.
Something to be grateful for: I know some miss'ys who have been trying to raise support for a long time, are convinced God has called them to the field, and long to be serving Him overseas -- but who just can't get enuf money to do so. We've had our ups and downs of support over the last 20-some years, but God has kept us here where, not only are we serving Him, but we love to be! In light of that, my other complaints seem petty.